Here we are @ the beginning of a new year. 2008. I’m sure if you googled the word “resolution” you’d find millions of entries. For some reason changing of our calendars causes us to recognize our failures and promise to make some changes. Like bug to the zapper, I find myself drawn to the same irresistible light. So as I took my first run for the new year (and for awhile–see perfect storm post), I started to think of what I would resolve to do differently in 2008. The word that came to mind was equilibrium.
It all goes back to what I’ve been coming to terms with over the last three weeks. Being the parent of three children throws everything out of balance. This morning (after the kids woke up @ 5:30 am), I was making breakfast for Sam while Jen was feeding Nate. We’ve got two kids covered when Levi starts to have trouble making his oatmeal hit his mouth. He starts crying and flinging his breakfast. Jen who has her hands full yells for me to help Levi and my response (in typical male fashion): “I can only do 1 thing at a time!”
Having three kids does that to you. It throws things out of whack. You can’t meet everyone’s needs or keep things under control. Life is a little off-kilter. I find myself nostalgic for simpler times (remember when we just had Sam…) and looking forward to post-bedtime peace and quite.
During our holiday respite @ Jen’s parents (lots of peace and quite–thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Nana and Pawpaw!), I started reading The Lord of the Rings again. It’s become a sort of a Christmas tradition for me. This time I was struck by how Hobbits, creatures who “love peace and quiet,” are thrown into the middle of the greatest saga of their age, but instead of floundering, they become heroes. There are many times that they longed for the peace and quiet they once knew, but they found little of it on their journey. The challenges they faced got more difficult with every step, but they still succeeded. It’s not because they discovered the secret to a balanced life in Middle Earth. They didn’t uncover the art of equilibrium. Their success was realizing their purpose and they seeing it through to the end.
As I pounded the pavement tonight, the application rattled into my consciousness. Balance isn’t the answer. Peace and quite isn’t what I’m looking for either. I need to reconnect with my purpose and allow it to influence everything I do. What is my purpose? It’s to love Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and to invite my family and the university communities of Washington, DC to experience Him along with me. I’m overwhelmed. Peace and quiet aren’t synonymous with the life I’ve chosen, but I know that if I embrace what I’ve been given see it through this journey will be an amazing adventure!
“Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” This is what Jesus says to a disciple-wanna-be in Matthew 8. I guess purpose doesn’t guarantee a lot of pillow time. What I’m confident of is that wasting all that I am for this one goal will bring meaning to my mildly chaotic existence and fill my life with hope and joy.
So here’s to 2008! May God bless you with purpose and bring joy to your crazy, challenge-filled, overwhelming life.